Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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