I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
