She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
