flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
