even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
