I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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