i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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