you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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