so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
