we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
