i may or may not be watching the land before time
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
