well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
