oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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