Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
