Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You pole danced in your parka.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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