Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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