Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
