i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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