is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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