The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
