Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
