I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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