Do you still have your period?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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