Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
