"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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