I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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