I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
