dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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