some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
