i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
