While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
