I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize