You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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