Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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