I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
