Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
