If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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