if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
