3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
where am i from again
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
