The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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