They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize