Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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