On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
