just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
