dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
