she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
