Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
