i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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