he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
being pregnant is like rehab
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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