I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
