Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
