I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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