So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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