Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
