i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
