We won't sleep together?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize