just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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