Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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