She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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