Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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