she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
