SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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