Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
