You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
