They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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