Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
